I remember bringing our daughter, Riley, home from the hospital. The coat she wore seemed to swallow her as she nestled in her car seat. I felt at a loss. This was our first baby, and the doctors and nurses hadn’t sent an instruction manual home with us.

What if she cried and I couldn’t console her? What if she couldn’t get the hang of feeding? Would I remember everything they had told me about bathing her? Then she began to grow – and the real work of parenting began.

Our daughter is an adult now and has begun a life of her own with her husband. As we’re adjusting to the empty nest, I’ve had time to reflect. 

I marvel at God’s goodness as He taught me things about myself and my family, through the parenting process, that I wouldn’t have learned any other way.

I’ve always thrived on accomplishments, whether it’s cleaning the house, balancing the checkbook, or writing a manuscript. I enjoy the feeling of being able to check off the tasks on my to-do list. 

I know there were many times I missed opportunities to be a part of my daughter’s life, because I was busy with my own stuff. Gentle nudges from my Heavenly Father reminded me to look for the teachable moments and speak His truth:

It was important to me for Riley to do well in school. I remember getting angry at her on more than one occasion when her grades weren’t what I expected. The truth? I felt it was a poor reflection on me. Pride at its ugliest. 

Through these life lessons, I learned to apologize and acknowledge that parents make mistakes too!

Our daughter was never ours to keep. She was/is a gift from God to be brought up in His ways. While she was living at home, it was our responsibility to introduce her to the Lord, and to show her what it looked like to live in obedience to Him. 

The years of studying God’s Word and living it out, were to prepare her to continue the process in her own home one day.

We’ve entered a new stage of life now. The parenting manual has been set aside and a close-knit friendship has taken its place. It’s exciting to look back on the days of parenting and realize God was at work all along.

Riley is my only biological daughter, but there are other sweet girls the Lord has brought into my life over the years and given me the privilege to influence for Him. Don’t minimize the role you play in someone else’s life.